hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
