i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
