he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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