It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
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Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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