You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
