google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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