Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
