im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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