I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
