I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
