that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i came on her dog
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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