If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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