I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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