You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
