To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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