i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
