I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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