HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
