we made out on top of his cat.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
