i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
