Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
