I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
