Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
