I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
