You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
