I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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