i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
