Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
