I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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