my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
