my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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