I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
