We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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