when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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