i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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