the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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