what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
