i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
