I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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