Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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