Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
