Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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