And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
