Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
