tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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