I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
