Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize