I only kidnapped one of them. chill
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
