the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
