At least make sure they are 18
Why
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
there is puke in my bra ... again
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
