so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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