Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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