If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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