yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
