Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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