I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
