thus making me awesome and them whores
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
