ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
