What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
