people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
