oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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