I love black thongs
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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