Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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