Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Randomize
