I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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