I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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